The White Flag of Surrender

I walk into the sanctuary and find my seat.  As I sit down, the music begins to play.  One of the worship leaders opens up the service, greets everyone, and makes a few more comments about the morning.  As I read the words, my heart gets downcast.  It's the same song that has troubled me since I was young.  The worship leader begins singing, leading our congregation through a time of praise to God.

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There are very few lessons that I still remember from my Junior High days.  Yet there is one lesson in particular that I still remember well.  The topic was worship.  We talked about what worship was.  We talked about what kind of a heart we should have when going into it.  Finally, we talked about how we should think through the lyrics, before allowing the vibrations of our vocal cords to utter the words through our mouths.

During this lesson, we went through a few songs, and talked about what they mean.  One of the songs continue to stick out above the rest, "I Surrender All."  What an amazing song.  To be able to freely belt out in front of God and the rest of the congregation that I surrender all to my Savior, Jesus.  It sounds good doesn't it?

Yet, many times when we sing that song (in church or anywhere else), I have such a hard time singing it.  There is a constant fight going through my heart.  My mind goes back to that lesson from Junior High.  "Think about what you are singing.  Do you really mean what you are saying?"  There are a few times when I can sing this with a clear conscience, truly believing that I would surrender "ANYTHING".

In reality though, the majority of the time, I struggle to surrender EVERYTHING.  I can feel such a strong battle within me, trying to hold on to certain areas of my life.  I put so much effort into keeping a small piece of my kingdom in tact.  For some reason, I still convince myself there is a chance my plans will work out if I just push a little harder.

As I listen to that song, I often stand there speechless.  I wonder, "Lord, have I really given everything over to you right now?"  "God, is there anything that I am holding back from you?"  As these thoughts invade my mind, singing and worshiping is no longer the main priority.  My main priority becomes investigating my faith.

In the movie Hacksaw Ridge there was a scene at the end where the Japanese come out with a white flag signifying their surrender.  When they were all the way out, they began pulling out their guns shooting and throwing grenades at the US soldiers.

Sometimes this is what I think I do with my relationship with God.  I come out of my castle with the white flag of surrender pulled out.  Yet right after I get out, I come out with guns blazing.  Demanding God provide me with what I want.  I hadn't truly surrendered everything.  I had simply ignored what I was holding back from him.  God doesn't want a piece of me, he wants all of me.

I consider what total surrender looks like.  I think about Abraham having to go face to face with God's command to sacrifice his son.  Any parent reading this, can you ever imagine God asking you to sacrifice your own son?  The son you waited 100 years to get.  The one who was going to be the bridge to fulfilling the promise that same God made to you.  How do you surrender to that?

What about the couple who have been trying to have kids for years with no avail?  Or they got pregnant, only to find out they lost their baby.  Or maybe it is the Father of the family who is living paycheck to paycheck, trying to make ends me, finding out he just lost his job?  Maybe it is the young woman who is trying so hard to make it through the corporate ladder, so she can become the next CEO of the company, yet is hitting every road block during her way.  Maybe it is the Junior High boy, who just found out his parents are getting divorced.  Now he has to learn to make two homes his "home".  How do you come before God and saying "I surrender all" and truly believe it?

There are days I struggle with this intensely.  I don't want to give up my plans some days.  I want that spouse or child or promotion or whatever else it maybe.  How can I truly surrender these desires?

The term surrender means to "cease resistance to an enemy or opponent AND submit to their authority."  It is all about submission.  If I am too busy resisting what God is trying to do in my life, I am going to miss out on the blessings he has and will give me.  It is about believing that God truly does love you and has a plan for you.  It is about no longer seeing God as your enemy, but as your friend and your Father.  Whether you agree with it or not, it is about submitting to his plan.  

I truly hope you are learning to wave your White Flag of Surrender holding nothing back.  God has given us desires, yet if we allow those desires to take the place of God himself, they begin to consume us.  It becomes all we think about.  What we don't have, becomes what we live for.

Is there anything in your life that you are holding back?  Are you waving your white flag, while shooting at the same time?  Can you say whole-heartedly with joy and delight, I surrender all?  I hope you are able to spend time with God and allow him to speak to you.  Allow him to show you what you need to surrender still.  David does it this way:

23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

-Psalm 139:23-24

I pray that you will be able to sing the song "I Surrender All" with a clear conscience, knowing that you would be willing to submit to anything God has planned, no matter how difficult.